'hoodsteading

As long as I'm stuck in the 'hood, imma be 'steading that bitch.
I grow everywhere I go. In one form or another.

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Island-World Problems Tabboule

I love tabboule in the purest traditional form. I also bastardize and hack the shit out of everything I get my hands on, so here is how I did tabbouleh TODAY.
As usual, this isn’t measured. Everybody changes recipes anyway. Maybe it will inspire. Maybe not.

START with some bulgur wheat (cracked wheat isn’t as nutritionally beneficial- you could probably substitute quinoa, amaranth, maybe brown rice or other small, whole grain or pasta like cous cous.

prepare the bulgur wheat- package directions or google it
Other things I put in freshly cooked and cooled bulgur:
lemon juice-lots
olive oil-enough
tiny chopped green onions and/or sweet peppers
Canned Kidney Beans throw in a handful but fyi: $6 a CASE at COSTCO
YAH!

chopped fresh mint leaves
TONS OF kale chopped small

SPROUTS a million of them (like I went on and on and on about in last post)
chopped dates or dried pineapple
Pickled Ogo (some sort of local seaweed I bought at a Farmer’s Market)
Ume Plum Vinegar to taste-

I can’t say enough about this salty goodness
freshly ground black pepper
Mix all the things together.
You can also buy the tabbouleh dry mix in the bulk department of whatever natural food store you can find. It is relatively inexpensive for the nutritional content and has a long shelf life. You just add water. You then can add all the fresh ingredients, different every time, and wah lah… easy good fresh food. It is sort of like tabbouleh. 
Tabbou-loha!

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Imma talk about SPROUTS… eventually.

A few years ago, I quit farming in the high desert and moved to “where food grows” in California. It made sense. I’m not a green thumb. I throw seeds and plants in the ground and whatever doesn’t die, survives. I am a scrappy permaculturist in the purest sense. This fact leaves me still purchasing food because I honestly don’t spend all that much time foraging like I should. (FOR NOW-always the highest of hopes)

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Buying food had me reading packages and labels. I found that many of the products I brought into my home all came from one small area.
A little spot between the “Northern Central Valley” and “Southern NorCal”.

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INTERESTING.
Being lucky enough and idle enough (and it is often luck to have leisure time) to be able to even ponder where my food comes from and the impact it has on the world around me, (among other factors) it became more important to me to change my location. I wanted to have food security and lower my carbon footprint. I wanted to live where “food grows, water flows and the sun shines”. I wanted to be near people who cared about food sovereignty & organic living. I wanted to learn from people who could grow things better than me. I moved to West Sonoma County. That three years comes out in bits and pieces but:
Fast forward three years and lots of delicious food later, I moved to Hawai’i. That became a different story.

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OTHER things are more important on Oahu than “food”.

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I understood and was not surprised about a lot of things before I came to Hawai’i. I understood things would be more expensive. I understood things had to be shipped from too far away. I understood that I’d finally be able to eat LOCAL BANANAS & PAPAYAS AND MANGOS.
For THAT I am grateful.

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I didn’t understand, however, that in a place where EVERYTHING GROWS, few people grow anything. :-(
At least it wasn’t everyday practice in my immediate reality as it had been in Sonoma County. I had literally picked the ripest bounty in the food department in moving to Sonoma County.
I found that I have some challenges to face here on Oahu.
It is another world.

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I feel like I’ve taken on some sort of “challenge” in moving to Oahu. Sure, chance of a lifetime to live in Hawai’i and I’d be a fool not to take it, it is literally like no place on Earth. But I found unique-to-my-own-soapbox challenges in moving from Sonoma to Oahu.

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I do a lot of yapping about choosing to eat better and even eating better on a budget. But when faced with things like: absolutely unaffordable organic produce for “regular” people, markets and farms too far away to realistically shop unless you have a car (and many many do not), and cultural and social differences that do not lend itself to urban gardening; I am faced with THE REALITY of being in a food desert and my diet HAS suffered.

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This is a big lesson for me. One I’d like to create a solution for while struggling with my temporary discomfort and the realities of what some people deal with PERMANENTLY: food injustice.

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I would like to find some real solutions to some real problems. Even if only in my own head. It is easy for me to say, “PLANT FOOD!” because that’s always my answer to everything, but in a place where water is just as expensive as organic food, and the culture doesn’t encourage it, that isn’t always an option.

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Hawai’i is only paradise for some.
We may create our own reality TO A DEGREE but In a land that can grow anything, only the wealthy or obsessively determined are invited to eat from the organic table. The rest are enslaved and sickened just like any place where the rich feeds off the labor of the poor. Plenty of people here are poor and malnourished because it would be impossible to enslave and capitalize empowered and healthy people. It is quite clear and blatant.

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In NorCal, lower income people have a choice to eat well or not. There is SO MUCH OF IT. It is also more accessible.
It’s just not that simple here. :-(

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The good news is: I will be moving soon to a better area with more food opportunities for me. Not ALL of Oahu is asphalt.
Waimanalo bound.

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ANYWAY:  SPROUTS, YO!
My first “ah ha!” sprout moment and solution was to start growing sprouts in all the times where I didn’t have SPACE for gardening. RV’s. Motel Rooms. My car. Apartments. Homeless.
You can pretty much grow sprouts even if ALL you have is a pot to piss in.
Second “ah ha!” sprout moment is when you find out just how GOOD FOR YOU these mugs are. GO READ HOW GOOD CLICKY CLICKY.

So the ultimate “ah ha!” moment is when you are suddenly stuck in asphalt jungle, starving for vegetables and realize it takes MERE DAYS to grow sprouts.

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Across the board, SPROUTS are the sneakiest, easiest, fastest, space efficient and cheapest way I’ve found yet to get organic produce into an unreachable, dangerous or dead food supply.

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THERE! I’ve said it. As long as you have CLEAN WATER,
SPROUTS are the answer to everything. And 42. Or something.

This is how I make sprouts.

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Take some seeds. Any kind of raw, edible seed can be sprouted.
I buy a mix right now for $10. It will last weeks and weeks.

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Only one teaspoon makes enough sprouts for two heavily sprout covered meals. I top my salads or soups or casseroles or whatever plate of food with a a cup or more of them. You can just eat them by themselves also you know. It’s crunchy vegetables. Way better than iceberg lettuce.

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Seeds in the jar.

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Soak the seeds in good water.
*Berkey water filter plug here. Best $250 I ever spent. That’s a mere FIFTY BOTTLES OF BOTTLED WATER or 100 SODAS you should NEVER BUY and have clean water for the next few YEARS.

Put down the bottled water and soda. Buy a Berkey water filter.

SO. Soak the seeds all day or all night and drain them thru a schmancy lid like I have here or a pair of panty hose with a rubber band or a coffee filter and a screw band or whatever screen-like top you can find. You can poke holes in the regular lid if you want but that seems “wasteful” to me somehow. I dunno. Work it out. Drain the seeds.

I distribute the seeds around the jar so they aren’t all clumped up and I leave them upside down on a paper towel and let them fully drain.

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Rinse and gently swish them around twice a day. If you don’t rinse them twice a day, a couple things happen. They will either NEVER SPROUT because they dry out, or they will get musty and moldy because they aren’t being rinsed often enough. Either way, I rinse mine whenever I walk by them. Always drain them. Put them where you can see them.

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In 3-6 days, you decide when they are “ready”, you have #nom.

I even put mine outside in the sun for like 20 minutes to green up the little baby leaves. Don’t leave them outside. Sprout soup isn’t all that great. BUT: They literally change from white to green before your eyes.
Like anoles do. Different mechanism, similar effect.

Nature is a beautiful thing.

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Nom-loha!

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I live where chocolate trees grow.

COCOA NIBS!

I just “discovered” these. Sue me.

We took a little mini-tour here on Oahu and the guy showed us cacao trees.

And cacao fruit.

And cocoa seeds.

And how they make cocoa.

And chocolate.

HOLY SHIT YOU MEAN THESE THINGS ARE GOOD FOR YOU UNTIL THEY ARE BASTARDIZED INTO JUNK?!

Yep.

Now Imma put them in eeeeerthing. Just watch meh.

Nutritional Value

One oz of cocoa nibs contains 130 calories, 13 grams of fat, 10 grams of carbohydrates and 3 grams of protein. They are a one of the best dietary sources of magnesium as well as a good source of calcium, iron, copper, zinc and potassium.

Cocoa nibs contain 272 milligrams of magnesium per 100 grams. Magnesium is an important mineral that many people are known to be deficient in. Some studies indicate that up to 80 percent of Americans are lacking sufficient magnesium levels. Magnesium plays a major role in nerve and muscle function, bone strength and circulation. It cannot be produced by the body, and therefore, must be obtained through food sources or supplements. Cocoa nibs are a delicious way to meet the dietary requirements for this important nutrient.

Studies show that cocoa nibs have higher antioxidant levels than blueberries, red wine and green tea. The antioxidants in cocoa nibs are also more stable than in other foods and are easy for the body to assimilate.

Health Benefits

Energy Boost: Cocoa nibs contain a substance called theobromine, a central nervous system stimulant that has a similar, though less powerful, stimulating effect as caffeine. It may give you a healthy energy boost if you’re feeling low during the day.

Mood Elevators: Cocoa contains tryptophan, an essential amino acid required for the production of the neurotransmitter serotonin. Enhanced serotonin levels can quell anxiety and enhance mood. Eating cocoa also helps to release endorphins, the body’s natural opiates. Endorphins are what give runners that natural high. Eating cocoa can have a similar effect and may explain why some people become self proclaimed chocoholics.

PMS Symptoms: Magnesium deficiency is known to aggravate the symptoms of premenstrual syndrome. Forty percent of women admit to chocolate cravings. This may be the body’s attempt to obtain sufficient magnesium levels. Since cocoa nibs are a natural snack without added sugar, they may be a healthier way to satisfy monthly chocolate cravings.

Appetite Control: Coco contains chromium an important mineral for stabilizing blood sugar and reducing appetite.

Improve Circulation: Cocoa is a great source of flavanols, powerful antioxidants that play an important role in circulation. Flavanols help to prevent clogged arteries by helping to stop fatty acids from oxidizing in the bloodstream. Flavanols also help make blood platelets less sticky, which reduces the risk of blood clots, heart attacks and strokes.

Improve Cholesterol Levels. Cocoa contains healthy monounsaturated fats. The same fats found in olive oil. These healthy fats have been shown to raise good cholesterol (HDL) levels.

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Knowing Shit from Shinola

If you don’t learn it in first grade, you may never learn it at all.

When I was in 1st grade, I got a paddling for saying the word, “doo doo” to another kid at lunch time.


YES FIRST GRADE.
YES A PADDLING. With a wooden paddle.
At the risk of being called an abuser apologist, you have to understand that I grew up a long time ago, in The South.


MOVING FORWARD-
Ok, maybe not, you better believe I never forgot it.
On this fateful day in first grade, I was served up a food item made from cocoa, oats, butter & sugar and I relished in the simple decadence placed on my plate back when school lunch was actually cooked by actual lunch ladies and I ate every single bite of it while laughing at this novel item that my mom never made. I turned to the kid next to me (that I thought was cool- I won’t ever forgive you for this either John Bukky, you fucking pointless snitch) and said in a very light-hearted manner: “These look like doo-doo”.

This. THIS was my crime.
Within minutes, I was reporting to my first grade teacher, Mrs. Troutt, where she began to shame me over and over by forcing me to repeat the words, “doo-doo” over and over, insisting that I get it out of my system, because not everyone wants to hear it. She assured me that she LOVED to hear it and told me to repeat it. THEN? She paddled me so I would never say “doo doo” again. wtf?

I survived 1st grade. In fact, I somehow survived all twelve years of my sentance in the rural southern public school system.
BARELY.
So if you are wondering wtf is wrong with southern people, this is just a tiny clue into that world.


ANYWAY…
Did I learn anything from this experience other than hatred for authority and anyone that blindly respects and follows the arbitrary power of it?
Well, I never said, “doo doo” in her class again. #fact
I most certainly didn’t spend much time with John “hear something, say something” Bukky after that.
So yes, in theory, you might say that I learned how to TRUST NO ONE and EMBRACE ANARCHY in first grade.

So…
Thanks for that.
MOSTLY: I learned that these were NO BAKE COOKIES and had only
SIX ingredients!
Even POOR WHITE TRASH could afford to make these!
You know, the TRUE important take-away from this horribly scarring ordeal that I endured as a tiny little girl.

FAST FORWARD hrmfph mrrbrs years to these scrappy little no-bake cheater cookies and watch me ‘hoodstead them from rags to riches, from assholes to anarchy, from doo-doo to delight by making them ORGANIC and with additional AWESOME ingredients.

I might have chosen to never touch these things again. I might have been forever afflicted (ok so i was) by authority and senseless violence to the point of radical opinion (ok shut up) or I might have been squashed that day. (only for 30+ years) but I wasn’t.

I questioned the insanity then just as I do now. My sanity has been questioned ALWAYS because of it.
I’ve always been the kid screaming, “the emperor is naked!”
Even while being chased with a wooden paddle and given mixed messages about words and power and innocent 1st grade humor.
Heh. I guess a lot came from that fateful day in first grade. I say the word “shit” with abandon. I question authority with a vengeance. I eat chocolate without apology. I hate jocks.

If I don’t like the way something is, I HACK THE SHIT OUT OF IT to make it better. Or leave. I left The South.

Now I eat doo-doo cookies in Hawai’i. The place they all aspired to maybe vacation one day if they say all the right things and do all the right stuff.

They are all still there. I don’t know if they are still beating kids with sticks but I do know their cafeterias are now filled with garbage while their lunch ladies are all on food stamps.

Some times you can only #WIN by not playing. #fact

NOW ALL THAT for “just” these no-bake Doo Doo Cookies?
Well, every recipe holds a story. Both of these are MINE.

BEHOLD…

So use organic ingredients. I shouldn’t have to type the word “organic” in front of every single fucking ingredient. Ok?

You can put ANYTHING in these cookies. You can even make them with cannabutter or rum-soaked dried fruit.


The original is above, my version today was this:
1/2 cup almond milk
1/2 cup butter
2 cups sugar
6 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa
2 cups rolled oats
1 cup coconut
1 cup schmancy granola
1/2 cup dried blueberries (or any dried fruit)
1/2 cup COCOA NIBS

Bring milk, butter, sugar and cocoa to a boil.

I had to use this crappy hot plate because every crappy shack in the ‘hood should have a hot plate.

Stir & cook 3 minutes. Remove from heat, stir in oats and other ingredients. Drop by spoonfuls onto wax paper. Let cool.

EAT THE SHIT OUT OF THEM. lulz. that’s right. I’m STILL making poop jokes about these. ALL THAT PADDLING AND SHAMING FOR NAUGHT but mine and your entertainment and #nommy delight.

This child will NEVER get beat with a stick by a school teacher for enjoying these fun no-bake cookies. At least not on my watch.

I made these ones special today with COCOA NIBS because I just discovered COCOA NIBS because now I live where chocolate trees grow.
That’s another post, but it’s coming. COCOA NIBS! Who knew? (apparently every raw foodist ever, duh)


Just eat them. They aren’t ACTUALLY made from doo-doo. sheesh. some people.

Aloha and shit…

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NONI: the “vomit” fruit.

One of the first things I found when I got to the new island’stead is this NONI Tree:

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Now I’ve heard of noni. It’s that stuff that is like a MIRACLE CURE. Right?

Yeah, I don’t believe in miracle cures.

But I will share what wikipedia knows about it if you click right here and also I will share with you what I do know about noni.

It is beautiful.

The bats come visit.

The leaves are shiny, waxy and strong and can be used as a plate.

It was used traditionally as a famine food and as medicine.

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The fruit smells like vomit. They throw themselves at my feet at the rate of 1-3 a day.

The fruits turn to mush overnight.

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You can make a traditional fermented “remedy” out of it if you put a bunch of noni in a jar and let it sit in the sun for weeks or months. Yes, I said months.

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It starts out kind of firm and white.

They turn to yellowish mush after a while.

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I guess there are lots of things it can be used for.

I’ve made tea from the leaves in attempts to relieve my STUPID STOMACH PROBLEMS. (yay- IBS. I LOVE ILLNESSES THAT are “all in my head” they are just the BEST)

I hear you can mush up the fruit and make a poultice for cuts, wounds, abscesses and what-not. I tried to get someone to use it for a really painful and inflamed broken tooth. My healing advice and assistance was refused. I guess it didn’t hurt that bad. ;-)

I’m waiting for a life-threatening illness to really appreciate the fermented vomit fruit tho. I feel grateful/fortunate/educated to have it in my yard.

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Yay, noni.

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Moved by Lizards. Inspired by Geckos.

Natural, adorable pest control.

The gecko.

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OMG I hope a hundred of these move into my house. Shack. Whatever.

Lizardville is where we stay right now and at night, we get to hear them. the ONLY LIZARD THAT MAKES SOUNDS other than a “hiss”, is also capable of reproducing without the aide of male fertilization. So UGH! That’s one BAD ASS ability right there and why they have done so well in Hawaii.

Did I mention their REALLY COOL FEET?!?!

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I just can’t get enough of these little guys.

Really good place to redirect RIGHT HERE CLICKY CLICKY if you want to know a little more about the gecko and why I would want my house filled with them.

The resident lizard catching expert has this to say about the gecko: “Them got sticky feet and them black and you can’t see them at dark and sneaky like other lizards are.”

So there is that. She also she wants Li Hing Gummy Bears. That’s a post for a day I want to talk about how someone/s is trying to kill the Hawaiians with the food supply.

The one we caught today was brown. And so stinking cute I can hardly stand it.

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I can’t think of a better way to combat the cockroach situation here in Hawaii. Mostly I don’t see them. I see a lot more lizards than cockroaches. This I am thankful for.

We see a lot of lizards. Green ones. Brown ones. Black ones. Spotted ones. Diamond back ones. Ones with cockroaches in their mouths. This is lizard central ‘round here. I see the cattle egrets follow the stone fence lines watching for them. The lizards eat the roaches while the egrets eat the lizards.

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These brown anoles are really every color from white to buff to brown to black to diamond back to spotted to GREEN. Although I think the green ones are a different anole all together.

They change colors. They bite. They look at you. With their eyes. They are calculating and give definition, when placed in a sand pail, to the phrase, “leaping lizards”.

BUT. I really really REALLY love the geckos.

They EAT BUGS YOU DON’T LIKE. THEY SOUND LOVELY. They are sweet. Natural pest control. Did I mention the natural pest control?

Aloha and stuff.

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Spring Chickens

Publishing some old blog chicken love… Cuz it’s spring and what-not.

Spring 2009

Chicken Zen… Again.

The Post Office called me this morning…

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And I quickly had to convert the Pack N Play (which had been converted into a clean laundry basket *dizzy*) into a…

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Spring has sprung.
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CHICKEN ZEN

Spring 2009-

Chicken Zen

JOY

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Meet… The Coop:

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Meet… Peep (Americana) & Mike (Rhode Island Red) They are the First Hens of The Ragamorphanage.

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If you have never spent time watching chickens be… chickens; make an appointment. No one should miss the opportunity to experience chicken zen.

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Next project? Making room for 8 or 10 more! DOH!

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Chicks Rule

It is spring, so I’m gonna reminisce about the “brood” old days… Island life offers me lots of jungle fowl. No place yet for “house chickens”.

:-(

Spring 2009
I’ve been so busy. But at least a few pics…

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Three hens’ work. Rhode Island Red, Silkie, Americauna.

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Chip- Americauna. His name is chip because when they arrived, they looked like chipmunks. I bet there is more than one chicken out there named chip… just a guess.

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Chirp. Another suspected rooster/dinner.

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Yvette- Light Americauna. She has a dark brown “Y” on her forehead. Sagan didn’t want the name Yvonne.

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“Hammy”- Silver Spangled Hamburg (McMurray Mystery Chicken) Still waiting on the rooster/hen verdict before he gets a “real” name. He might be dinner.

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Tiny Birds for Tiny Houses

Bantam Breed Chickens

Bantams, or “Baynie Hens” as my granny used to call them, are tiny chickens. With tiny everything. They are the size of pigeons.
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In the chicken world, the Bantam Chicken Breed is well known. Approximately one quarter the size of a regular breed, it has its own unique characteristics.
History relates that they originally came from the city of Bantam in Indonesia and they were spread throughout the world by seafaring men who found them easy to carry on journeys, supplying both eggs and meat for the crew.
OH RLY?!
Coturnix Quail

Because they are super easy to raise

mature fully by 6 weeks

lay eggs daily and are a gourmet delight.

They take up even LESS space than Baynie Hens.

Oh and coturnix chicks are the size of a baby chicks HEAD…

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ZOMG!

Tiny Birds for Tiny Houses.
Sounds perfect for RV living.

Don’t think I won’t.